so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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