she takes plan B like it's going out of style
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
