you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
