Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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