Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
