I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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