dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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