You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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