do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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