Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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