somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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