is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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