have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
