Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
