Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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