so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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