she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
