GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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