Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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