I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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