the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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