how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
