I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize