So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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