If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
