the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
