I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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