I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
