Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
