We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize