Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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