I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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