It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
