just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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