i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
