hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
