Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize