I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
