I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
