I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
