My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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