are you so shy because you have an std?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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