he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize