I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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