i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
