Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
