The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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