Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
