i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
