nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
