Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
