fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there was a trapeze. enough said
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
