this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
