its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
