Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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