im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
