who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
