Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
