I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize