I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
