I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
