I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
